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Introducing Gary F.N. SportsMouse!

By Andrew Allingham |

While Cocaine Bear is away getting the Red Carpet treatment, we'd like to introduce you to his personal friend and current Fun Mall stand-in, Gary F.N. SportsMouse!

Gary FN Sportsmouse

Born in Chattanooga, Tennessee, Gary "Toby" F.N. SportsMouse was his name and multitasking was his game. Growing up, Gary really stood out against his varsity teammates who were 18 times taller. Through shear will and rote memorization, SportsMouse was able to master over 12 dozen sports, all before finishing high school. Although well known in local circles for Greco-Roman Cake Decorating-Wrestling, young SportsMouse yearned for greater heights. His big break finally came when he was noticed by sports-modeling scouts while eating ice cream at the mall. Sports agency backing secured, Gary went on to travel the world for more than 2 decades showing off his skills to anyone with a ticket. Unfortunately, his greatest gift of playing two sports at once ultimately lead to his downfall, his flame extinguished far too early on an ill-fated badminton-skiing trip to Crested Butte.  

Today, unrecognized as one of America's most beloved multi-sport athletes, Gary holds numerous medals and trophies in skateboard-baseball (of course), cross-stitch-Rally car racing, the basketball-high dive, and chess-gymnastics.

Come get your photo taken with Gary F.N. SportsMouse at the KY for KY Fun Mall February 18th-?, 2023.

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