Surely by now you've heard about the Kentucky Meat Shower of 1876, in which mystery meat fell from the sky over a Bath County farm "like large snow flakes." They even have a jar of it preserved at Transylvania University. But have you thought about what you'd do if a bounty of bonus meat fell from the sky tomorrow? I didn't think so. Let's prepare together!
We already have some experience harvesting unexpected treats from the ground (see 17 Ways to Enjoy The 17-Year Cicadas), but meat shower meat will be remarkably less buzzy with a much gamier taste. Don't let that deter you from the crafting possibilities.
High End Fashion
Inspired by Lady Gaga's iconic and bewildering MTV Video Music Awards meat gown, create your very own award show look on the cheap with your newly acquired free sky meat! Now you just need to get invited to an awards show before it goes rancid.
Form a Core Memory With Your Dog
You know how excited your dog gets for a walk? Now how about for a meaty treat? Meat falling from the sky is the ultimate game of catch. Your dog will think they've died and gone to doggy heaven, and they'll have you to thank for it. Day after day, old meat aging on the sidewalks just brings fresh and exciting smells to spice up your regular old walk around the neighborhood block. They'll never know you didn't make it rain meat, and your secret is safe with me.
Disney Moment
Every animal will come out of hiding to feast on the mystery meat, which is the perfect opportunity to live out your Disney princess dreams. All of your cute neighborhood squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons, opossums, foxes, and deer all chowing down on chunks of meat around you. Be careful with the sudden moves though, you are surrounded by meat and are very, very outnumbered.
Food Prep
Fire up those grills, lay out your clotheslines for jerky, and crank up your hot tubs for hotpot, the goal is to cook and preserve the sky meat as close to peak freshness as possible. Like to live on the cutting edge? A mystery tartar will be sure to earn you your deserved Micheline star. Have leftover chunks? Perfect for pickling, just be sure to label the jar to help out the future historians.
Snow Day Activities
Of course school will be called off for the great meat holiday. Now you can enjoy all of the normal snow day activities except with meat! Meatball fights, meat snowman, meat angels, meat igloos, etc. It all works. The limit is the meat and it's literally falling from the sky for free.
I hope these ideas have helped you mentally prepare for the next meat related weather event. All there is left to do is wait... in style with a new metal inspired Kentucky Meat Shower T-Shirt! Now available in-store and online right here at kyforky.com
